Sort of a Father's Day poem

After seeing dad, my heart is so tender,

it might disintegrate

Taking him out to lunch alongside

other dads and daughters

The loud music makes it hard to talk,

and I’m relieved somehow

I give him his gifts with their receipts

I can never stay as long as he wants

Looking into his dewy eyes, we say goodbye

and history swallows me up

Later, I find myself driving across town,

                        in the opposite direction of dad’s

You greet me casually in the afternoon -

It’s over so quickly

                         no soft words

I can’t decide if the curtains are green or blue

You fall asleep immediately after

and I have no right to resent it,

  for there are no rules,

I agreed

Lying naked in an unfamiliar room

casual, casual in the afternoon

The green or blue curtains – the color of the part of the sea

where we drown

Earlier today,

I had worn my checkered summer dress,

and had hugged my dad so tightly goodbye

  He had said, “I remember when you were the size

of a loaf of bread.”

-rc